xxx Bad Dragon Luigi xxx
by AwesomeZoosnuck26
Summary: Waluigi is a real bad boy, a lover everyone longs for. But with such an attractive man, can he really be expected to stay loyal to his loving partner? A dark scandal is revealed and he has to put his life and integrity on the line to save the thing he loves most: Himself, or his lover? A deep, philosophical fanfiction starring our favourite bad boy: Waluigi.


**simon**

mhm

one day we're being retarded

but i forget to wear my viking helmet

i get pregnant

its really bad

 **King Explosion Murder**

oh no

who's the father

 **simon**

waluigi

 **King Explosion Murder**

UM

NO

NOT TRUE

HE WOULD NEVER BE DISLOYAL

HES ON A BUSINESS TRIP!

 **simon**

um

gurl im srry..

but is tru

luk

 _brings up big ultrasound monitor_

 _fetus with huge pink nose appears_

 **King Explosion Murder**

...

no...

ur lyin...

thats...

that cant be it...

 **simon**

its tru..

im srry u had 2 find out dis way..

 **King Explosion Murder**

dat...

its clrly olimar!

 **simon**

ummm

no gurl

is triangulr

olimar wuld nevr hav unsaef senx

 **King Explosion Murder**

um

yeet

he wuld

i remembr it...

it was 2001, we wer watchin shrek

it...

it was so fanst...

he got pregante

he gave birth 2 a disgustin creature...

...

it was a gruss shrek ogre bb

 **simon**

...

gurl...

im so srry 2 hear dat...

but olimars cleaned up nao...

he has a gud job an he taeks caer of his ogre bb

 **King Explosion Murder**

h-

how do u NO!?

HMMMMMM

 **simon**

bcus gurl...

hes HERE!

 _funni spaceship comes down_

 _olimar come out_

 _he squints at you_

 **King Explosion Murder**

olimar

its

...

it rly is waluigi isn it

 **simon**

 _olimar squint_

mhm...

im srry gurl...

 **King Explosion Murder**

...

i

i need 2 make a call

 _beepbeep_

 **simon**

..

 **King Explosion Murder**

...

waluigi?

 ** _happy waas_**

i-

i'm glad to hear your trip is going well

um...

...

we need 2 talk bb...

 ** _concerned waas_**

I-I don't think we can do this anymore.

did you cheat on me with tom?

 ** _WAA_**

u cant deny it

ive seen the ultrasound

dey have ur nose

and its not olimar...

...

 _ **crying waa**_

im sry...

im sry b

ily so much

but u clrly dun lov me

gudby...

 _beep_

 _cris_

 **simon**

...

;-;

gurl...

gurl its ok...

u'll find some1 else...

waluigi isn a real mans...

hes not evn in smash...

 **King Explosion Murder**

. . .

i just

i cant do dis animoar

i cant do anyfin

ive lost evrythin

i h8 u

how dare u do dis 2 me

i fot u wer mi fren

 **simon**

...

 **King Explosion Murder**

now ur havin my bfs boyfren

child not boyfren

dat wuld b grus

 **simon**

...

 **King Explosion Murder**

lol

um

aniway..

im sry...

but its 2 much

runs 2 clif

 **simon**

omgg

gurl no!

dun do it!

 **King Explosion Murder**

im so sry

jumps

"WAAAAAAA!"

waluigi NO!

 _waluigi springs up and grabs her and cushions her fall_

OMG WTF BB!

 **simon**

omggg

 **King Explosion Murder**

"w-waa..."

 _he's bleeding and his beautiful nose is broken_

"I...I waa u...ima so sorwaa..."

walugi no...

 **simon**

...

 **King Explosion Murder**

...

"waa..."

i-I forgive u...

he dies

...

dis is all ur fault

now...

now he's ded...

now ur bb has no father...

al bc...

ur...

a SLUT!

 _eye glows like sans_

 **simon**

um

gurl no

ur not tinkin straigt rn

calm downnn

 **King Explosion Murder**

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

 _throws pebble at_

 **simon**

ahhHH

GURL TF

STOP

 **King Explosion Murder**

 _ltrly shakes teh earth_

 _picks u up_

 _throws into teh hole_

lol

ded

 **simon**

um

no fuk u

 _jumps out of hole_

 _unsheathes flaming nuclear sowrd_

bring it on!

 **King Explosion Murder**

FINE!

 _does anime moves..._

 _sky goes black..._

 _unzips trousers_

 _whips out huge katana penis_

 _100ft long_

FIGHT ME!

 **simon**

;o;

FINE!

 _teleports behind you_

ksh...

patetic...

 _smaacks u wit sword an u go flyingg_

 **King Explosion Murder**

 _anchors self with penis_

 _pulls it up and smashes into the ground, sending you miles away_

 **simon**

kuh!

 _uses mind powers to stop self mid flight_

 _charges laserrrrr_

now ur gonna get it...

 _*BEOWWWWWWWWWWWWW_

LASER

 **King Explosion Murder**

 _BLOCKS LASER WITH SECRET POWER..._

 _HALF ANGEL HALF DEMON WINGS!_

 _FLYS INTO SPACE_

 _GROWS RLY BIG_

 _CRUSHES EARTH!_

heh...

shuldve (gone to specsavers) givn up wile u had the chance kido

cus now ur gona hav a bad tiem...

 _charges sans powers_

 _destroys the fucking solar system_

lol

 **simon**

 _*warps in front of u(_

psh...

i nevr cared abt teh stoopid solar ssystem...

 _grabs ur eye_

 _charges big hand laser_

 _now ur gonn get ZAPPED an DIE..._

 _BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ_

 **King Explosion Murder**

he...

 **simon**

 _ZPAPAPPAP_

 **King Explosion Murder**

hehhehh...

hehehehehe

HAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAA

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

U RLY THINK UVE WON

 **simon**

hm?

 **King Explosion Murder**

U R SUCH AN IDIOT!

 _TURNS OUT TO BE A HOLOGRAPH_

say gudnight bish...

 _stabs through chest_

 _is rose quartz_

u fought well...

but not wel enuf...

 _smirks_

 _zaps u away_

 **simon**

...

..

.

 **King Explosion Murder**

now...

its tome 2 go home

 _flys away to waa world_

 _fin_

 _owo_


End file.
